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Thursday 28 October 2021

Wives are considered "gardens": Victims of Mark Driscoll P/2



Read Part One HERE
 

In this post I will continue to focus on abuse by pastor Mark Driscoll at his previous church, Mars Hill church Seattle, Washington. USA.

Pastor Mark Hill has made the following statement on "Men and Marriage ."

"A husband should be the firm and responsible head of his household, the leader of "a little flock called home and family." He should think of his wife as "a garden" and himself as "the gardener." "If you look at your garden and don't like how it looks," Driscoll preaches, "just remember: You are the gardener."

My Comment

Pastor Mark Driscoll seems to have been influencedy by pastor Doug Wilson whose wife Nancy Wilson wrote in her book "The Fruit Of Her Hands" that the wife is a garden that belongs to her husband as follows: "In many ways the husband is the garden tender, and his wife becomes a great source of joy and delight to the husband as he spends time in the garden he faithfully tends."

However, the Bible does not teach that the wife is a garden that the husband is to spend time in as her gardener. But in John 15 we read of God as the Gardener. In this passage Jesus is the Vine and every Christian is a branch. Such a branch is to bear fruit and may be pruned by the Gardener in order to be able to bear more fruit. As for bearing fruit, it refers to the spiritual fruit of the Spirit that we read about in Galatians 5:22

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

A Christian wife is responsible before God for her own life and for the development of spiritual fruit in her life. It is not her husband's task to tend to the fruit for that is done by God the Father who prunes it as the Gardener so this Christian wife may bear more fruit.

Read Part Three HERE

Monday 25 October 2021

The story of abuse at Mars Hill and beyond: Victims of Mark Driscoll P/1


 

In this post I will begin a series of blog posts on abuse by pastor Mark Driscoll. He led Mars Hill Church, Seattle, Washington,USA, until he resigned in 2014. In 2016 he started a new church The Trinity Church, Scotsdale, Arizona, USA, where, he has continued his abusive pattern.

We will first look at abuse at Mars Hill Church as follows:

Mark Driscoll was pastor of Mars Hill Church until he resigned in 2014. At that time twenty-one pastors filed charges against him saying that he engaged in a pattern of abusive and intimidating conduct.

The charges lodged with the executive elders of the church, include:

1. Pastor Mark exhibits lack of self-control by speech and by verbally assaulting others.

2. We believe that the way pastor Mark leads has created a culture of fear instead of a culture of candour and safety. People are afraid to ask questions or challenge certain ideas.

3. Pastor Mark is verbally abusive to people who challenge him, disagree with him, or question him. 

Mars Hill Church was disbanded in 2016.

Read Part Two HERE

 

Thursday 21 October 2021

The husband is lord of the home: Christ Church Idaho P/4

                                                      Read Part One HERE

                
In this post I will share my final story on abuse at Christ Church, Moscos, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson.

One woman was councelled for hundreds of hours after which she was being suspended "from the Table of the Lord" until she confessed and repented after leaving it up to her husband to clean and prepare food, putting her kids in daycare and "ignoring the God given roles" including submission.

Another woman, Cori Philips, a home schooling mother of 10 children who attended Providence Church, the church planted by Doug Wilson's brother Gordon, was cast as a dangerous woman by a church leader when Mrs Philips began to raise concerns about Doug Wilson's blog to her church leaders and on Facebook.

Doug Wilson has written in his book Reforming Marriage, "Wives need to be led with a firm hand" and "It is tragic that wholesale abdication on the part of modern man has made the idea of lordship in the home such a laughable thing." In "Federal Husband," Doug Wilson asserts that men must assume full spiritual responsibility for the household, including any wifely negligence to submit in "spending habits, television viewing habits, weight, rejection of his leadership, laziness in cleaning the house, lack of responsiveness to sexual advances." Such a husband must confess failure in leading his wife, outline clear expectations, and repeatedly point out her failures. If she complies, "He must move up a step, requiring another of her duties be done." If she continues to rebel, it's appropriate to call in the church elders.

 


Monday 18 October 2021

Wives need permission for a haircut: Christ Church Idaho P/3

 

                                                      Read Part One HERE


In this post I will continue focusing on the abuse that has taken place at Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson.

Kimberly McCullough was a member of Christ Church. Her husband was a early Doug Wilson disciple. She was a dutiful home schooling mother who read the Bible with her children. She recalls her husband saying, "No wife of mine is going to work." and needing his permission to cut her hair. But when he started disappearing from the home for long stretches, he still demanded sex on his return. Her husband was absent so much, she was left feeling, "who is this strange man who is taking my body?" Not to submit to his wishes would be sinful, she knew from Doug Wilson's teachings. 

Mrs McCullough says she was counselled "if the wife did not concede she was in sin," and believed a woman could be ex-communicated from the church for refusal to have sex with her husband. Faith was central to her. She couldn't understand why sometimes her throat would seem to close, her body suddenly gripped with panic. Her anxiety attacks went undiagnosed for years. She finally left her husband after 18 years.


P.S. in my next post I will share one final story on abuse that has taken place at Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson.

Read Part Four HERE

Thursday 14 October 2021

Physical abuse takes place at the Logos School: Christ Church Idaho P/2

                                                     Read Part One HERE


In this post I will continue to share stories of abuse that have taken place in Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson.

Kamila Niska who is now in her twenties and attended Christ Church and the Primary School Logos attached to Christ Church, shared the story of being spanked with a wooden paddle in 6th grade, once by a female administrator and once by a male principal. Later in 10th grade, when Niska was covertly seeing a boy at Logos, Nancy Wilson (Doug Wilson's wife) started pulling her into classrooms to talk, and asking if they had done anything physical. Were they in a relationship? Was she keeping pure?

Since Niska left the school and the church, she has heard about Nancy and Doug asking multiple students about their sexual activitity."He (Doug) wants to sit there and listen to everything that transpired between these two teen lovers, like all the graphic detail," says Niska.

Former Logos student Helen Shores, in her late thirties, was called in for a solo meeting with Doug Wilson after she lost her virginity at 16 to her then boyfriend, who had confessed they had had sex to his parents. According to her, "Wilson wanted me to tell in detail, everything that happened when we had sex," says Shores, who was told by Wilson that her boyfriend had already told him everything." So I needed to tell him in absolute detail what sexual experience happened, how many times it had happened, all that kind of stuff."

P.S. I will continue focusing on abuse in Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson, in my next post. 

Read Part Three HERE

Monday 11 October 2021

Wives are not allowed to report abuse: Christ Church Idaho P/1

  



In this post my focus is on Christ Church, a church in Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson. His view on marital intimacy is that the husband is to be in authority and the wife is to be in submission, a view that opens the door to sexual abuse within a marriage.In this church community women are told they must defer to church leaders and cannot say "no" to their husbands, men are taught to strictly control their homes and those who speak out can be isolated and harrassed.

One of their members, Jean, was a student at New Saint Andrews, Christ Church's College. While at that College she met a charming, handsome upperclassman. His father was a deacon at Christ Church. By her second year, they started dating and soon he said he wanted to marry her. Within their first year of dating, he  would get her drunk and refused her wishes not to have sex. They were eventually married by pastor Wilson. That is when marital rape began to take place. This took place for about a decade and has caused Jean to develop PTSD.from sexual assault. Years into her marriage, Jean reported to several pastors that her husband had been raping her. She was told "You are not to report it" and "You are wrong. A wife is not allowed to tell her husband "no."

Jean's husband's drinking increased. And so would his violent behaviour. He would hold her against walls, slam a lot of doors, pounded the walls, once pointed a loaded gun at her. Nevertheless the pastors told her not to go to the police and not to separate.

Jean did eventually divorce her husband and left the Christ Church community, knowing that she would just be ex-communicated if she stayed.

P.S. In my next post I will continue to focus on abuse in Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, USA, pastored by Doug Wilson.

Read Part Two HERE

Thursday 7 October 2021

Women And Abuse: Naghmeh Panahi P/2

 

                                                                                     Read Part One HERE


In this post I will continue to focus on Nagmeh Panahi, the ex-wife of American-Iranian pastor Saeed Abedini (her husband initated the divorce proceedings).

 As mentioned in my first post on Naghmeh, men like Franklin Graham and Jay Sekulow refused to support her when she revealed her abuse at the hands of her husband. Instead, Franklin insisted they go for marital counseling, something that should never be done in the case of abuse, so that their marriage could be fixed. According to him, "If you, Naghmeh, want to make it work you have to move a bit." This despite the fact that Saeed never repented of his physical, spiritual as well emotional abuse by calling his wife "Jezebel,", "whore" etc during phone calls, had committed adultery, had watched pornography and had visited prostitutes.

In the case of Jay Sekulow, he had asked Naghmeh to lie, which she refused to do. 

It is clear from the above that both Franklin Graham and Jay Sekulow behaved in a bullying manner towards Naghmeh.

Interestingly, Anne Graham Lotz, Franklin Graham's sister, supported Naghmeh and told her that "Franklin does not understand. And I can also tell you, Franklin is not a good listener." The bottom line is that Franklin did not want to understand. And he certainly did not want to listen to Naghmeh for she was not doing what he had in mind for her to do.

As for Naghmeh, she is doing well and is now helping abused women in the Middle East.



Monday 4 October 2021

Women And Abuse: Naghmeh Panahi P/1

 



In this post I want to focus on Naghmeh Panahi. She advocated for the release of her husband - Iranian American pastor, Saeed Abedini - from an Iranian prison. However, months before his release, Neghmeh revealed a dark secret: for years, Saeed had been physically, emotionally and sexually abusing her.

Yet rather than rallying to support this battered wife, Naghmeh says the Christian community attacked her. And she says some - including Franklin Graham and Jay Sekulow - relentlessly pressured her to reconcile with her abusive husband, or even to lie about what happened.

P.S. In the next post I will share more details about how these two leaders in the Evangelical world treated Naghmeh.

Read Part Two HERE

Friday 1 October 2021



It has been a while since my last post so it is time to write some posts again.

 

Today is 1 October and for the whole month of October the focus is on 

 

                           DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS

 

Let's all keep this subject in our prayers as we grapple with the reality of it, be it domestic and/or spiritual abuse.

In my next blog I will begin to share a story of a woman who dared to tell the truth about her abuse.