Wives should pray after having been spanked: Wife Spanking P/8

                                                       Read Part One HERE

 In this post I will begin to share another testimony of wife spanking. This story was willingly shared by Lauren, who was spanked by her husband and who eventually left her marriage. Her story was shared in correspondence form with another woman Julie Anne.

Julie Anne: "Lauren, bravo for you!! I am so glad you found the strength to leave your abusive marriage. How did you finally put it all together that wife spanking was wrong? Did  you find someone to share with? Did you get support from friends and family after leaving him?"

Lauren: "I got support from friends and it was only after I opended up to them that they helped me see it (wife spanking) was wrong. I am now estranged from my parents but I did not get their support. Instead, they wanted to know what I had done wrong to "need" to be punished and felt that I had abandoned my wedding vows when I left him."

Lauren: "I got spanked at home until I left to be with my ex when I was 21. Our church pastor growing up would talk about disciplining according to emotional age, not actual age. And I was told since I was acting immaturely, this was the consequence. I don't know where the line is, but looking back now I think I can say that spanking even at 14 or 15 was not right and certainly not up the age (21) I was."

Lauren: "It took such a long time because that line had been blurred from growing up and then being married. I didn't see it as abuse. It was not like he was drunk and beating me with his fists. It was confusing it felt no different than when I was at home. I would commit some offense that my parents/husband thought was wrong. I was told I was going to be punished. I would end up being spanked and afterwards I was told to pray."

 My Comment

One of the main problems of the patriarchal/complementarian teaching is that girls are always taught to obey the males in their lives starting with their fathers and continuing on with their husbands. They are never considered as mature and continue to be treated as immature children who need discipline, including physical discipline such as spanking, if their behaviour is considered rebellious. It is the father and later on the husband who decides what action is considered rebellious and needs punishment. Thankfully, in he case of Lauren, she eventually realised that wife spanking is abusive even though her parents never understood that to be the case.

I will continue Lauren's story in my next post. 

Read Part Nine HERE

 

 

Denise's abuse: Wife Spanking P/7

 

                                                      Read Part One HERE

 

In this post I will share a testimony of someone named Ghirard who was present when Reformed Minister R.C. Sproul Jr spanked his  first wife Denise, who tragically died of cancer some years ago. His story follows below:

Ghirard: "We were members in the early years of St Peter Presbyterian Church. RC (Sproul Jr) would sometime invite families to his home for a meal, not so much for the regular folks, but if you were big donors to the church and the Higlands Study Centre like we were. So we had been invited over  one night for supper. After supper we sat in the living room with RC and his children. Denise (his first wife) was cleaning up in the kitchen. RC got up to go in the kitchen. Denise must have done something to make him mad because he angrily told her, "Go to your room." It sounded just like he was talking to a little child. Denise went to their bedroom and a little later RC went up and we could hear him spanking her. She stayed up there a long time before she came back down. The look on her face told all. She was humiliated and ashamed. It was the most awkward supper we'd had ever had in anyone's home. We didn't accept anymore invitations from RC after that."

Ghirard: "Did I ever contront RC? Yes, I did try and speak with him. Not that night. It was all so shocking at that time. But later  after I'd had some time to process. I didn't get very far. He is hypersensitive to anything that he thinks is criticism. There was always the threat of church discipline if you ever got out of line. Just asking the wrong sort of question would earn you his ire."

My Comment

This is a shocking story of physical abuse commited by a well-known  minister (for those of you who do not know who RC Sproul Jr is, he is the son of now-deceased Minister RC Sproul Sr, founder of Ligonier Ministries). Perhaps more shocking is the fact that the couple who witnessed the spanking did nothing about it that evening even though as Ghirard said, "It was all so shocking." But what about Denise? She had been abused!! Did they not care about this precious woman?.... They should have called the police and asked for one male and one female police to come over. The police woman could then have gone upstairs to speak with Denise together with the wife of Ghirard while the male police could have dealt with RC with Ghirard giving testimony what he had heard happen. RC should have been taken into custody and a case made against him. Moreover, Ghirard should have spoken to the eldership of the church about their pastor's behaviour rather than him being afraid of speaking up in case of coming under church discipline.

Read Part Eight HERE

Husbands are to rule their wives: Wife Spanking P/6

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I continue Larry Solomon's article "Does The Bible Allow A Husband To Spank His Wife?" as found on his website Biblical gender Roles.

Two Biblical Priniciples That Allow For Wife Spanking

Principle #2 - God Allows Physical Punishment As A Form of Discipline (cont)

Larry Solomon: "I also agree that "Women are no more sinful than men" but that is why God has placed men in charge of women. Read 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 and Ephesians 5:22-33. Really read it. These passages show it was no accident and it was not because of sin or God just rolling some cosmic dice that He placed men over women in marriage. These passages show that God created women and the institution of marriage to help men fully image God as husbands and fathers."

Conclusion

Larry Solomon: "God made man to image Him and by doing so to bring Him glory (1 Corinthians 11:7). In order to help man fully image God's attributes as a husband and father He created woman and by extension marriage for man (1 Corinthians 7:9). God created marriage to create a model of the relationship of God to His people and in the New Testament era of Christ to His Church (Ephesians 5:22-33) Just as Christ loved His Church by giving Himself up for her to wash her spiritual spots and wrinkles with the Word of God so too husbands are called to wash their wives' spiritual spots and wrinkles, in other words they are called to discipline their wives." (Ephesians 5:25-27 and Revelation 3:19)

Larry Solomon: "No Scriptural principle or command forbids a man from using physical discipline as a method of discipline with his wife. In fact, Scriptures show God allows physical punishment of adults as a form of discipline in Deuteronomy 25:1-3, Proverbs 19:19 and Proverbs 26:3."

My Comment

Larry Solomon completely misunderstands 1 Corinthians 11:1-16 for that passage is not about men being in charge of women or husbands being in charge of their wives. In this pasage Paul corrects the teachings of some of the religious leaders in Corinth whose words are found in 1 Corinthians 11:4-5 and 1 Corinthians 11:7-9. Paul's correction can be found in 1 Corinthians 11:11-16.

As for Ephesians 5:22-33, Larry Solomon left out Ephesians 5:21. However, we need to at least start with Ephesians 5:21 to make sense of that passage. And we learn from Ephesians 5:21 that believers are to submit to one another so mutual submission is to take place in any marriage.

As for the man to image God in order to bring Him glory (1 Corinthians 11:7), that verse is part of a statement by some of the religious leaders in Corinth and Paul corrects that statement later on in that chapter. Both the man and the woman were created in the image and likeness of God according to Genesis 1:26-28. And both are to give glory to God who will not share His glory with another (Isaiah 42:8). 

As for a man fully imaging God as a husband and father, though we call God Father, He is not male but is Spirit. Moreover, throughout Scripture, God is imaged as a Mother as we know from Hosea 11:3-4; Deuteronomy 32:11; Isaiah 49:15; Isaiah 66:13. However, let's once again remember that God is neither male nor female for He is Spirit!!

As for God having created woman and marriage for man (1 Corinthians 7:9), Paul wrote that as the wife belongs to the husband, likewise the husband belongs to the wife. Once again a picture of mutuality (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). 

As for Christ washing His Church, only He is able to do so. No husband is called by God to wash his wife  by disciplining, including physically disciplining her by spanking her since any husband, as part of the Church, together with his wife is to be washed, disciplined by Christ. Moreover, these are spiritual activities, not physical activities. 

As for Larry Solomon quoting some passages from the Old Testament to defend a husband being allowed to spank his wife, it is clear that he twists Scripture in order to defend his position. Any husband who spanks his wife is to be reported to the police for physical abuse and should be imprisoned for his crime.

In my next posts I will share some testimonies of people wo have either witnessed wife spanking or have experienced wife spanking.

Read Part Seven HERE

God approves of husbands spanking their wives: Wife spanking P/5

                                                       Read Part One HERE

In this post I continue to share from Larry Solomon's article "Does the Bible Allow A Husband To Spank His Wife"  as found on his website Biblical Gender Roles.

 Two Biblical Principles that Allow For Wife Spanking

Principle #2 - God Allows Physical Punshment As A Form Of Discipline

Larry Solomon: The Bible tells us that God approves physical punishment as a form of discipline in the following passages:

Withold not correction from the child: if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 23:13-14 (KJV)

"If there be a controversy between men, and they come into judgement, that the judges may judge them; then they sall justify the righteous, and condemn the wicked. And it shall be, if the wicked man be worthy to be beaten, that the judge shall cause him to lie down, and to be beated before his face, according to his fault, by a certain number. Forty stripes he may give him, and not exceed: lest, if he should exceed, and beat him above these with many stripes, then thy brother should seem vile unto thee." Deuteronomy 25:1-3 (KJV)

Judgements are prepared for scorners, and stripes for the back of fools." Proverbs 19:29 (KJV)

"A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back." Provers 26:3 (KJV)

Larry Solomon: "As we can see from these passages of Scripture - not only is physical discipline approved by God for children but it is also approved by God for adults."

Larry Solomon: "When we take these two Biblical principles together we see that God has given men both the right and responsibility to discipline their wives and God approves of physical discipline for adults. Therefore, we can rightly conclude from these two Biblical truths that God allows men to spank their wives."

Larry Solomon: "The primary objection to wife spanking is that such an action infantilizes women, or in other words treat them as children. However, spanking does not infantilize a woman since adults can and do discipline other adults all the time. The reason for this kind of answer is because in our modern culture we look on any type of physical punishment with disdain. We think of physical punishment toward adults as "uncivilized."But such thinking is at odds with the Bible."

Larry Solomon: "Another problem we have is that we think wives are immune from discipline in the home because our culture teaches the false ideology of partnership marriage. Discipline in the home we are told is stricly reserved for children. So it is easy to understand with the false beliefs about physical punishment and discipline how many people might think wife spanking infantilizes women."

Larry Solomon: "However, the Bible makes it clear in passages like Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7 that marriage is not a "partnership" but rather a patriarchy. It does not get any clearer than "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church." Ephesians 5:23

Larry Solomon: "The fact that "both are adults; none is a lesser being" or in other words that both husbands and wives are fully mature human beings is irrelevant."

Larry Solomon: "Does it matter that at my job my boss is an adult and I am an adult? The fact is that the owner of my company who is an adult has put my boss who is an adult in charge of me as an adult. It does not mean that I am less of a human being than my boss rather it means I have a lesser position than my boss."

Larry Solomon: "And the fact is that the Bible is clear that as Christ is the Head of the Church so too God the owner of humanity has put male human beings in charge of female human beings in marriage. It really is that simple."

My Comment

As for God having given men both the right and responsibility to discipline their wives, including spanking, Larry Solomon twists Scripture in order to come up with that conclusion.

 That is not surprising since he seems to believe that the Bible teaches the model of patriarchy for marriages based on his understanding of Ephesians 5:22-33 and 1 Peter 3:1-7, in particular focusing on the words "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the Head of the Church." 

Sadly, Larry Solomon does not understand that the term "head" does not mean "authority." Neither does he mention that Christ's function as Head of the Church is associated with His function as Saviour of the Church, which is a sacrificial function. The husband's function as head of his wife is, therefore, a sacrificial function. 

Moreover, we know from Ephesians 5:21 that we are to submit to one another so husband and wife mutually submit to each  other, which is in line with God's Design in Genesis 1:26-28 where we read that God made the male and the female to rule over creation together as a team on a equal basis. This is confirmed in Genesis 2:18 where we learn that the woman was formed as the man's equal partner. 

This wonderful design was lost at the time of the Fall when the man began to rule over the woman but it was restored in Christ when He died on the Cross and became a curse for us (Galatians 3:13). 

Therefore, his comparison of his boss being in charge over him with the marriage relationship of the husband being in charge of the wife as ordained by God is incorrect as you will understand from the above.

I will continue to share on Principle #2 - God Allows Physical Punishment As A Form Of Discipline in my next post.

Read Part Six HERE

 

Husbands are to spiritually clean up their wives: Wife Spanking P/4

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I continue to share from Larry Solomons's article "Does the Bible Allow A Husband To Spank His Wife?" taken from his website Biblical Gender Roles.

Larry Solomon: "Two Biblical Principles That Allow For Wife Spanking."

Larry Solomon: While the Bible does not specifically speak to wife spanking (either specifically allowing it or specifically condemning it) we must ask the question "Are there general principles of the Scriptures that would speak to this issue?" the answer is YES.

Principle #1 - Husbands Have a Right and Responsibility to Discipline their Wives.

Larry Solomon: The Bible tells us that husbands are the heads of their wives as "Christ is the head of the Church":

"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the Church; and He is the Saviour of the body. Therefore, as the Church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV).

Larry Solomon: Not only are husbands the heads of their wives as Christ is the Head of the Church but God created marriage to model the relationship of Christ to His Church. Husbands are to model Christ's Headhip over his Church by loving their wives as Christ loves the Church. One of the primary ways in which Christ loves His Church is in His spiritual washing of her:

"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the Church, and gave Himself for it. That He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word. That He might present it to Himself a glorious Church, not having spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, but that it should be holy and without blemish." Ephesians 5:25-27. (KJV)

Larry Solomon: This spiritual washing by Christ of the spots and wrinkles of His Church is discipline. Christ alludes to this same concept in the Book of Revelation after rebuking His seven Churches:

"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten; be zealous therefore, and repent." Revelation 3:19 (KJV)

Larry Solomon: So it is clear from the Scriptures that if a husband is modeling the relationship of Christ to His Church with he wife, he has not only the right, but also the responsibility of spiritually disciplining his wife.

My Comment

The Bible tells us that husbands are "heads" of their wives as Christ is the Head of the Church in his role as Saviour of the Church. This is a scrificial function and not a rulership function. Likewise the function of any husband as "head" of his wife is a sacrificial function and not a rulership function.

As for any husband loving his wife, he is to love her, but he is not called to cleanse her by washing her with the word of God. That is a task only Christ can fulfill. Furthermore, as for any husband to spiritually discipline his wife, again that is the task of Christ and not of a husband. Moreover, as a believer, he is a part of the Church, part of the Bride of Christ, and is in need of being cleansed by the washing of the word which is done by Christ as well as being  spiritually disciplined by Him as we know from Hebrews 12:5-7.

P.S. In my next post I will continue to share on the topic "Two Principles That Allows For Wife Spanking" when I will share Principle #2 

Read Part Five HERE

Wives should not be shoved: Wife Spanking P/3

                                                      Read Part One Here

In this post I continue to share from Larry Solomon's article taken from his website "Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?" This article can be found on his website Biblical Gender Roles.

 Larry Solomon: "What does the Bible say about Wife Spanking?" 

Larry Solomon:"The Bible does not specifically speak to the situation of wife spanking and some believe because this is the case then wife spanking is forbidden. But we must be careful when we come to the Bible and it does not address a specific case of behaviour with either a positive example or command. In these cases where we do not have a situation specifically addressed we must be careful of two extremes. One is the extreme that we can do anything we want if it is not specifically addressed and the other is if it is not specifically addressed that we cannot do it. Both extremes are wrong."

Larry Solomon: "Instead, we must look for general principles the Bible does teach that we can then apply to specific situations the Bible may not speak to."

Larry Solomon: "The Bible does not specifically speak to physical abuse in the family. We don't see the Bible specifically condemning men punching their wives or children in the face but we have this condemnation of masters toward their male and female slaves:

"And if a man smite the eye of his servant, or the eye of his maid, that it perish; he shall let him go free for his eye's sale. And if he smite out his manservant's tooth, or his maidservant's tooth; he shall let him go free for his tooth's sake." Exodus 21:26-27 (KJV).

Larry Solomon: "How would a person get their tooth knocked out of their eye permanently damaged? In most cases it would be their master either punching them in the face or shoving them to the ground where they knocked their head on something causing the injury. This tells us God does not approve of punching and shoving as act of discipline..."

Larry Solomon: "So while this passage in Exodus 21:26-27 does not specifically speak to marriage we can apply this as a general truth to marriage and the family. If God condemns masters doing these things to their slaves then he certainly condemns husbands and fathers doing these things to their wives and children who have more rights under God's law than slaves."

Larry Solomon: "Now we need to apply this same method of searching the Scriptures to this area of wife spanking."

 My Comment

It is amazing to me that Larry Solomon believes he has to search the Scriptures to find an answer to the area of wife spanking since it ought to be clear from the start that the Scriptures would never under any circumstance allow for wife spanking to take place. 

Read Part Four HERE

 

 

 

Did the Bereans spank their wives: Wife Spanking P/2

 

                                                       Read Part One HERE

 In this post I continue to share from an article by Larry Solomon “Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?” This article can be found on his website Biblical Gender Roles.

Larry Solomon: “The Bible, not Culture, should determine our Morality,”

Larry Somon:“Even though wife spanking was practiced in most cultures for most of human history that does not automatically make it right. Culture, or the majority view on whether something is right or wrong, does not make it right or wrong. For us, as believers, we must measure every thing we think, do or say by God’s standard of right and wrong which is the Bible.  When we look at the Bible and not our feelings or what our culture believes as our starting point it will literally transform our view of this world. We will see things we never saw before. The Bible tells us: “And do not be conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God.” (KJV)

Larry Solomon: "So we are told that we are not to be conformed to what our world or our culture thinks is right but rather we are to renew our minds accordingly to what God thinks is right. But then how do we know what the will of God is? How do we know what is moral by God’s standards? The answer to the question of knowing what the will of God is to look to His Word found in the Bible.  We need to be as the Bereans who searched the Scriptures daily for the truth of God’s Word and once we find that truth we need to apply it to our lives no matter if it conflicts with our cultural upbringing or not."

 My Comment

It is true that the Bible and not culture should determine our morality. However, to even consider the question whether or not the Bible allows a husband to spank his wife, is inconceivable since it should be clear without any need for further discussion that the Bible under no circumstances allows a husband to spank his wife.

Read Part Three HERE

Wives should be chastised: Wife Spanking P/1

                                                      

In this post I will begin to share from an article by Larry Solomon “Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?” This article can be found on his website Biblical Gender Roles

I will, first of all, give an historical background to this subject of wife spanking as given by Larry Solomon.

Larry Solomon wrote: “Most Christians, and for that matter most Americans,  are woefully ignorant of any history beyond the last 20 years. It might surprise many Americans to know that for a man to physically discipline his wife was historically considered by societies and courts to be “within the matrimonial privileges” up until the mid-19th century with the rise of Feminism. Below is a late 18th century account of an Irish judge ruling on the issue of a man beating his wife with a “switch”: "In the London Quarterly Review of Legal Cases vol 136, published in 1874 we read of a case that is referenced from a century earlier which established the right of husbands to spank their wives with switches: “A similar doctrine has been laid down by Dr. Marmaduke Coghill, judge of the Prerogative Court in Ireland, who in a suit by a wife for divorce on the ground that her husband had given her a sound beating, delivered a well-considered opinion that, with such a switch as the one held in his hand, moderate chastisement was within the matrimonial privileges of the husband.”

Larry Solomon: "In the famous Mississippi case Calvin Bradley v. State in 1834, the court ruled: “By the ancient common law, the husband possessed the power of chastising his wife... Let the husband be permitted to exercise the right of moderate chastisement.”

Larry Solomon: "Then in 1850, Tennessee became the first state to outlaw wife beating in the United States. Other states would soon follow in passing laws outlawing wife beating."

Larry Somolon: "But still some courts disagreed with the new trend of outlawing a husband’s right to “chastise” his wife. In  1864 the North Carolina Supreme Court gave the following decision in State vs Jesse Black: “A husband is responsible for the acts of his wife, and he is required to govern his household, and for that purpose the law permits him to use towards his wife such a degree of force as is necessary to control an unruly temper and make behave herself; and unless some permanent injury be inflicted, or there be an excess of violence, or such a degree of cruelty as shows that it is inflicted to gratify his own bad passions, the law will not invade the domestic forum or go behind the curtain.”

Larry Solomon: "The practice of wife spanking continued to be common practice in America well into the 1950s. It was during the 1960s and 1970s with the second wave of feminism that the “Domestic Violence” movement attempted to eradicate wife spanking completely from American Society. The question is: Were they right to do so?"

My Comment

Throughout the centuries it seems that wife beating/wife spanking was part of the culture both in Europe and America. At the same time many of these men would have been church goers. It is very clear that they did not understand the teachings of the Bible on the role of men and women as equal partners (Genesis 1:26-28; Genesis 2:18) who were called to love and serve each other (Galatians 5:13) as Christ loves and serves His Body, the Church (Ephesians 5:2). 

Read Part Two HERE

Husbands love their wives by spanking her: Grooming Your Bride P/10

                                                       Read Part One HERE

This is my last post on the article "7 Steps To Groom Your Young Bride" written by Larry Solomon. This article can be found on his website Biblical Gender Roles.

Step #7 - Discipine Your Wife

"As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent."  Revelation 3:19 (KJV)

Larry Solomon: "The verse above is Christ speaking to His churches after having just rebuked them and threatening to discipline them if they did not repent. Christ associates His rebuke and chastening with His love for His churches. In Ephesians 5:25 the Scriptures tell us "Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself up for it." So, if a husband is loving his wife as Christ loves His church, then he will rebuke and discipline his wife. Otherwise he is not loving her as Christ loves His church. Discipline for you toward your wife is crucial for the grooming process to work in the life of your wife."

There are many ways to discipline your wife.

1. Larry Solomon: "I used to be against wife spanking, then I was neutral to it as I could see no condemnation of it in the Bible and now over the last few years I come to see it as the most effective tool a husband can use in his role as human instrument of sanctification in the life of his wife. And this is not a newly invented disciplinary tool of husbands, but rather wife spanking was fairly common throughout history before the last 50 years or so."

2. Larry Solomon: "Whenever I speak on wife spanking, I must issue the following cautionary note: "While it is a husband's God given right to use spanking as a form of discipline on his wife (with or without her consent), a husband should be wise in regard to the hostile culture we live in. We live in a  culture which denies almost all the rights that God has given to a husband including his right to discipline his wife. That means that if you do not have your wife's consent to spank her and she calls the police on you, you may go to prison for domestic abuse."

 My Comment

1.As for Larry Solomon being neutral about wife spanking because he could see no condemnation of it in the Bible, it is clear that he does not understand the love the Lord has for His people, even those who rejected Him as we know from Luke 19:41-44 where we read that He wept over Jerusalem.                     As for Larry spanking his wife as a tool of sanctification, all believers, male and female are to be disciplined by the Lord as we know from Hebrews 12:7-10                                                                         Endure hardship as discipline, God is treating you as sons..... God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness."

2. As for any wife spanking, that is physical abuse and, therefore, completely contrary to what the bible teaches. God allows tests, challenges, into the lives of all believers in order to sanctify a believer, male or female. It is true that in the past, men seemed to have been allowed to spank/beat their wives, but, thankfully, laws have been put into place to prevent that from happening. As for any husband to have the right to discipline his wife by spanking, he should indeed go to prison for domestic abuse.