Fathers should select husbands for their daughters:Bill Gothard P/2

                                                     Read Part One HERE

   

In this post I will continue to focus on Bill Gothard, the founder of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP). This time I will be sharing from his teaching on children and, in particular, girls or young women.

Children as long as they were under the authority of the father, were protected from destructive temptation. However, if they got from under the father's authority, they exposed themselves to the realm and power of Satan's control. Children were to obey their parents even when they knew God's will was something different. There should be unquestioning accountability to the authority of their parents, even after the child moved into adulthood.

As for girls or single young women, Bill Gothard demanded a strict dress code, taught that girls should never run and that girls style their hair wavy - not straight or curly - because "wavy hair is attractive and becoming - it causes a person to focus on the woman's face instead of her body."
According to him, this would attract men to their bright eyes, which will attract them to God, instead of their bodies.

Girls and single young women were required to live under their father's authority, even in adulthood. They should be serving their fathers and at times they should do ministry things under their father's direction. They were to be homeschooled to protect them from worldly ideas and made to minic their mother's "helpmeet" role (see my previous blogs on Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be A Helpmeet.") until their mid- to late teens or early twenties, when their father approved a husband. Their wifely training included helping to raise siblings and mastering what such families call "Advanced Homemaking Skills," ranging from menu planning and budgeting to interior design and disaster preparation. These "Stay-At-Home Daughters" were not supposed to go to college or have a career, proponents described independent women and egalitarian men as "destructive of civilization."

P.S. Bill Gothard resigned in 2014 from IBLP after having been accused of sexual abuse by dozens of women associated with his organisation.

We are under an Umbrella of Protection: Bill Gothard P/1

                                                    

In this post and in the next one I will focus on a man named Bill Gothard, the founder of the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), a very popular ministry in the US in the seventies and eighties and beyond. All of his teachings were viewed through the prism of male superiority and female obedience.

Bill Gothard covered many subjects in his teaching such as use of cosmetics, clothing, beards, sleep schedules, homeschooling, medical advice and courtship and marriage.

He taught a great deal on the issue of authority in the form of a military-style chain of command, as follows:

"God has ordained authorities in order to live a proper Christian life. If we do not submit to God-ordained authorities, then we will not have protection against spiritual chaos.
God-given authorities can be considered "patriarchal umbrellas of protection." By honouring and submitting to authorities, you will receive the privileges of their protection. direction and accountability. If you resist their instructions and move out from their jurisdictional care, you forfeit your place under their protection and face life's challenges and temptations on your own."

"There are four areas of God-established jurisdictions of authority. They are:
Family: husband and parents;
Government leaders;
Church leaders: elders and other believers;
Employers."

In this post I will focus on the Concept of the Umbrella of Protection in Family Relationships in relation to husbands and wives as follows:

Gothard's Umbrella of Protection in Family Relationships puts the husband in charge under Christ while the wife is totally subservient to her husband; her access to God is through her husband.

The husband is responsible for making the decisions for the family and it is the wife's job to properly instruct and manage the children; the children's spirituality and access to God is through their mother as she submits to her husband.

Wives should not work outside the home and should have as many children as possible.

They are always to obey their husbands instead of God in matters of conscience. Their primary reason for existence is for the purpose of producing children, caring for their husbands and rearing children. 

 

Read Part Two HERE

Debi Pearl's book does not teach that God never told the man to name the woman: Helpmeet P/9

                                        Read Part One HERE

In this post I will share my teaching that today we do not see men and women function in equal partnership.

The sad truth is that today many men and women do not function according to this wonderful design by God for the man and the woman. The reason for our malfunctioning is an event called the Fall, which we can read about in Genesis 3 where we learn of the disobedience of both the man and the woman.

The consequences for the woman's disobedience are recorded in Genesis 3:16.
 In this verse God forewarned the woman that the man, because of his now sinful nature, would want to rule over her as we know from the sentence "And he will rule over you." 

An immediate example is the re-naming by the man of the woman in Genesis 3:20
Adam named his wife Eve because she would be the mother of all the living."

The Hebrew text uses a naming formula which included both the Hebrew verb"qarah", which means "to call," and the Hebrew noun "shem," which means "name." This indicates that the re-naming by the man of the woman was an authoritative naming to establish his authority over her and was an act of independence for it was not a task the Lord had given to the man.

Examples of rightful authoritative naming can be found in Genesis 2:19-20 and Genesis 5:2
Previously, God had given the man the task of naming the animals in Genesis 2:19-20
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them. And whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave name to all the livestock, the birds of the air and the beasts of the field.

This had been an act to establish his rightful authority over creation as initiated by God. But when God brought the woman to the man He did not require of the man that the man name the woman authoritatively as we can see in Genesis 2:22
Then the Lord God made the woman from the rib (side) He had taken out of the man and He brought her to the man.
 Though the man at that time recognised that she was the woman and he was the man as in Genesis 3:23 where the man said
She is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man,
this was not an act of authoritative naming but a recognition that she was a human being like himself. The Hebrew text makes this clear for this time the naming formula "qarah," "to call" and "shem," "name" has not been used since the term "shem" has not been included in the text.
Having first of all recognised her similarity, he then went on to speak of the difference between him and the woman for she was the female human and he was the male human.

The reason God did not ask the man to name the woman authoritatively is because God had not given the man the responsibility to rule over the woman. Moreover, God had already named the woman authoritatively as we know form Genesis 5:2
He created them male and female. And He blessed them. And when they were created He called them"Adam," "Man," "Human."

The Hebrew text once again uses the naming formula "qarah," "to call" and "shem," "name" to indicate this naming is an authoritative naming.
So God named both the man and the woman "Adam," "Man," or "Human."
We could say they were Mr and Mrs "Adam," Mrs and Mrs "Man," or Mr and Mrs "Human."

Thankfully through Christ's death at the Cross the effects of the Fall have been reversed. What had been lost -  the relationship with God and the relationship with one another on equal terms have now been restored. Furthermore, men and women who are in Christ have been given authority. Please understand that this authority is a delegated authority for it is based on Christ's authority given by His Father as we can read in Matthew 28:18-20.

See my website www.ministryto-silencedwomen.com/Abridged/The-Fall/The-Promised-Seed- Of-The-Woman

Debi Pearl's book does not teach that the woman was taken from the man's side: Helpmeet P/8

                                        Read Part One HERE

In this post I will share my teaching on the term "tsela" which has been translated as "rib" in Genesis 2: 21-22
So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made the woman from the rib He had taken out of the man and brought her to the man.

Having understood from Scripture that the woman as the man's "helper" was to be formed as his equal in all respects, which means her equality in being as well as in function, we will now look at how God did this, which will only confirm her equality to the man.

Having created the man God went to work once again. This time He created the women by taking a part of the man which has been translated as "rib." The Hebrew term for "rib" is "tsela" and has been used in other parts of the Old Testament when it has been translated as "side." (Exodus 25:12; Exodus 26:26-27).

In these passages the term "tsela" each time refers to an entire side and not just to a small part of a structure. It is only in Genesis 2:22 that the term "tsela" has been translated as "rib."

It is very likely that in the case of Genesis 2:22 the term "tsela" has been translated as "rib" because translators were influenced by Jewish Rabbis as Rabbi Joshua who has written:
"I must not create her from Adam's head for she would be a proud person and hold her head high.
If I create her from the eye then she will wish to pry into all things.
If from an ear then she will wish to hear all things.
If from the mouth she will talk much.
If from the heart she will envy people.
If from the hand she will desire to make all things.
If from the feet she will always be going around.
Therefore I will create her from a member which is hid; that is the rib which is not even seen when man is naked."

However, this points to a very biased view and is not in line with Scripture because in Scripture the term "tsela" clearly indicates that the woman was taken from the man's side and confirms her equality to the man in every respect.

P.S. The sad truth is that today many men and women do not function according to this wonderful design. The reason for our malfunctioning is an event called the Fall as mentioned in Genesis 3. At that time the man began to rule over the woman as foretold by God in Genesis 3:16d (And he will rule over you.) I will explain how that became a reality in my next post.

See my website www.ministryto-silencedwomen.com/Abridged/Introduction

 

Read Part Nine HERE

Debi Pearl's understanding of Helpmeet is not according to Scripture: Helpmeet P/7

                                        Read Part One HERE

In the last six posts I have focused on a  book by Debi Pearl "Created To Be A help Meet." From these posts you will have learned that Debi's understanding of the term " A Help Meet" is unbiblical.

Today I will share with you from my teaching on the subject "A Help Meet" or "A Helper Suitable" as follows:

We read of the creation of the man and the woman in Genesis 1:26-28
Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, in Our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

From this passage we can know that God created both the man and the woman to rule over creation together. This was to be done in perfect harmony, as a team on an equal basis. No one was to rule over the other, they were to rule over creation together. We can be certain that this did take place exactly as God intended it.

In Genesis 2:18 we are given some specific details about the man and the woman as follows:
It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.

The word "helper" is the Hebrew word "ezer". It appears many times in the Biblical text and it always refers to a significant Being or person such as God, a king, a prince or a warrior. The word "ezer" underscores how necessary a "helper" is. It is someone who is of great importance, who normally will relieve another from an immense problem and who is a loyal companion. It is not the Hebrew word for a slave, a hireling or an assistant.

Does that mean that the women as the man's "helper" was created as his superior party? No, for that would go against God's design for the man and the woman. Therefore, the word "kenegdo" has been added to the term "ezer."
 This word "kenegdo" is very important for it describes exactly what kind of "helper" God had given to the man. It was not God's intention to give the man a "helper" who would be superior to him. Neither was it God's intention to give the man a "helper" who would be inferior to him. No, this "helper" was formed to be exactly suitable for him, matching him, fitting him, corresponding to him, a counterpart to him, opposite to him

The term "ezer kenegdo" is best translated as "a strengthener suitable, a strengthener matching, a strengthener fitting." We can, therefore, be certain that what God spoke in Genesis 1:26-28 that both the man and the woman were to rule over creation together as equal partners is confirmed in Genesis 2:18.

See my website: www.ministryto-silencedwomen.com/Abridged/Introduction

P.S. In my next post I will share my teaching on the word "tsela" which has been translated as "rib" in Genesis 2:22 to further confirm that the woman was formed as the man's equal partner.

 

Read Part Eight HERE

Tim points out Debi Pearl's book teaches men cannot be tempted: Helpmeet P/6

                                        Read Part One HERE

In this post I will share the view of Tim Challies on Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be A Help Meet."

Tim's quotes from the book as follows:

Debi: "If you are a wife, then you were created to fill a need, and in that capacity you are a "good thing," a helper suited to the needs of a man. This is how God created you and is your purpose for existing."

Debi: "The only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman is as a help meet to your husband."

Debi: "God's ultimate goal for you is to meet your man's needs."

Debi: "God has provided for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you, his wife."

His comments on the above is as follows:

Throughout the book, Debi Pearl teaches poor theology, especially when it comes to her understanding of how a husband and wife relate to each other as the above quotes show.

 Tim continues:

Looking to the first sin Debi Pearl says that the reason Satan tempted Eve was that Adam apparently could not be tempted. God has made men in such a way that they are nearly untemptable, but made Eve weak and easy to deceive. Satan, a masculine being, knew this, so approached the woman who "didn't have the armour to ward off his fiery darts of deceit." However, the Bible tells us that Eve was tempted but it does not tell us that this was due to a deficiency in her nature.

Too often Debi Pearl stretches Scripture far beyond its plain meaning, inserting ideas that are foreign to the text. 

All through the book there is a notable absence of gospel and the endless accumulation of law. Debi Pearl never teaches the freedom that is found when a woman finds her identity in the gospel. Rather, she teaches that a woman's deepest meaning, her very identity, is found in her role as help meet. When the gospel is missing, we will always turn to law or to lawlessness. Debi Pearl turns to law, constantly giving rules and mandates and commands, but never grounding them in the good news of what Jesus Christ has done.

Debi Pearl shows that she is an unsuitable mentor; her counsel is too often foolish, her words too often harsh, her grasp of Scripture and theology inadequate and, not surprisingly then, her grasp of the utter centrality of the gospel almost completely missing. I would recommend avoiding this book at all costs.


My Comment:

I trust you will understand from the various quotations mentioned in the last number of posts on the book by Debi Pearl "Created To Be A Help Meet" that this book is not  to be read because its teaching is unbiblical!! If anyone of you has ever received teaching on marriage along these lines then please know that you have been taught wrongly and you do not have to obey these man made rules. God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life and if you are married then this is to be worked out alongside your husband as your equal partner.

P.S. In my next post I will share my teaching on the term "helper". I trust it will be helpful to all of you.

 

Read Part Seven HERE

Alicia points out Debi Pearl's book tells women they may have to accept violence: Helpmeet P/5

                                       Read Part One HERE

In  this post I will share the view of Alicia Willis on the book by Debi Pearl "Created To Be A Help Meet."

Alicia has said the following;

"The false teachings of this book are as follows:

"Hermeneutic errors in which stories of the Old Testament are allegorised and misused, as well as a return to patriarchy and the law."

"Women are created solely to fulfill a man through marriage."

"All man's sin, sexually and other, is a result of women."

"Wives must submit to abuse and reverence their husband even in the midt of his foolishness and a lifestyle of sin."

"Women are responsible to help their husbands without actually having a say and must maintain the order and attitude of the home without ever assuming any authority. They are responsible for everything that goes wrong without having the authority to actually fix it."

"Women are not capable of discerning the Scriptures for themselves and must agree with their husbands at all times." 

"I, (Alicia), was startled by the overwhelming bondage Debi Pearl attempts to thrust upon women. Her every point was made by the underlying assumption that women are to obey men rather than God, that women are created solely for the pleasure of man and that we are still living in some kind of Old Testament, patriarchal system. Not only is this unbiblical, but it is really dangerous and brings women back under th yoke of bondage Christ died to set us free from.

Alicia quotes from this book as follows:

Debi: "If you are a wife, you were created to fill a need, and in that capacity you are a "good thing," a helper suited to the needs of a man. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing."

Debi: "The only position where you will find real fulfillment as a woman is as a help meet to your husband."

Debi: "God's ultimate goal for you to to meet your husband's needs."

Debi: "God has provided for your husband's complete sanctification and deliverance from temptation through you, his wife."

Debi: "God's original intention was that a woman would spend her life helping her husband fulfill his dreams and ambitions."

Alicia's comments on the above statements is as follows:

"That is not what the Bible says. Isaiah makes it crystal clear that we were ALL formed for God's glory. We don't exist to suit the needs of men.
 "Even every one that is called by My Name: for I have created him for My glory, I have formed him; yes I have made him,"

"Women do not exist solely to be wives. Our lives are to honour and serve God, not fulfill our husband's dreams."

Alicia's shares some further quotes from this book as follows:

Debi: "A husband has authority to tell his wife what to wear, were to go, to whom to talk to, how to spend her time, when to speak and when not to, even if he is unreasonable and insensitive."

Debi: "To those of you who are enduring verbal and physical abuse, we realise that statistically, you are likely to remain with your husband. It is therefore important that you understand how to speak and conduct yourself in a way that will maintain your physical and emotional safety and ultimately win your husband."

Debi's husband Michael weighs in on this issue and actually says the following:
"Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhorted to respond as Jesus did. When He was reviled and threatened, He suffered by committing Himself to a higher Judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband's command. Your husband will answer to God, and you must answer to God how you respond to your husband, even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, "likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.".... You can freely call your husband "lord" when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband's hands just as our Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities.... When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessing, not just as a martyr, but as one who worships God."

Alicia's comments on the above is as follows:

"Yes, ladies. If your husband is beating and raping you, you must respond by continued obedience as a martyr. Unbelievable. Please, ladies, never believe the lie that God demands you suffer as some kind of martyr enduring abuse. That is not the heart of the God of the Bible.There is no command in Scripture that imposes this upon women. God never commands women to remain in danger."

 

Read Part Six HERE

Pastor Reid Alan points out Debi Pearl's book displays a pagan view : Helpmeet P/4

                                        Read Part One HERE

In this post I will share the view of Pastor Reid Alan Ferguson on Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be A help Meet,"


He quotes from the book as follows:

Debi: "When you obey your husband you obey God."

Debi: "Being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even SICKLY is one side of a "bad marriage."

Debi: I am to meet all my husband's desires and dreams."

Debi: "God tells wives to be subject to their husbands in everything, every decision, every move, every plan, and all everyday affairs."

Debi: "When a woman gets old and realises that there is no man to love and cherish her, it is sad indeed, for she has failed in the very purpose for which she was created."

Debi: For Mr Command Man, the wife is on call every minute of the day. Her man wants to know where she is, what she is doing, and why she is doing it. He corrects her without thought. For better or for worse, it is his nature to control."

Debi: "God loaded him down with resistances, giving him a nature that is doubting, skeptical, forceful and pushy."

Debi: "A woman who criticizes her husband for watching too much TV, playing too much golf, indulging in any frivolous activity is expressing dishonour."

Debi: "God created Adam and commissioned him to take the position of leadership. Since then, every son of Adam has received the same mandate. Man was created to rule. It is his nature. But the only place most men will ever rule is in their own little kingdom called home. At least, every man's destiny is to be the leader of his household.To deny him his birthright is contrary to his nature and God's will. When a man is not in command of his little kingdom and is not shown deference and reverence that goes with that position, his kingdom will not be ruled correctly, and the subjects of that kingdom will not experience the benevolence of a king who truly loves and cherishes them."

Pastor Ferguson's final comments on this book is as follows:

"Throughout this book Debi Pearl displays terrible skewed views of the Biblical relationship and responsibilities between a husband and a wife, an overtly pagan view on male sexuality, a poor command of Scripture, various examples of very bad judgement, and a complete lack of understanding as to calling one another into account for sin. She rejects the Biblical models over and over, and at times adopt those that are actually contra-Scripture, let alone lacking in Scriptural foundation. ...."Created To Be His Help Meet" falls woefully and at times harmfully short at almost every turn."

 

Read Part Five HERE

Avi points out Debi Pearl's book will not allow a wife to set boundaries: Helpmeet P/3

                                       Rerad Part One HERE

In this post I will share comments made by Avid Reader on a book by Debi Pearl "Created To Be A Help Meet."

Avid Reader quotes from Debi Pearl's book as follows:

Debi: "Never demand a man love and cherish you because he ought to."

Debi: "Your husband will be selfish, he will be unkind... not respect your rights.... foolish... cruel.... actually walk in sin."

Debi: "In most marriages the strife is not because the man is cruel; it is because he expects obedience, honour and reverence and is not getting it. Thus he reacts badly."

Debi: "It is not God's will for your husband to reverence you."

Debi; "Dominance and control are always masculine characteristics."

Debi: "A woman's calling is not easy. To allow someone else to control your life is much harder than taking control of it yourself."

Debi: "When you obey your husband you obey God."

Debi: "The degree to which you reverence your husband is the degree to which you reverence your Creator."

Avid Reader quotes Debi's husband Michael as well as follows:

Michael: "Wives.... are not prone to be balanced or wise."

Michael: A husband has authority to tell his wife what to wear, where to go, whom to talk to, how to spend her time, when to speak and when not to, even if he is unreasonable and insensitive."

Michael: Many women disobey their husbands on grounds that they are obeying God instead."

Michael: "The wife is to obey her husband in all things."

I will add a more extensive statement from Michael Pearl here that is in line with his above statements:

"Has your husband reviled you and threatened you? You are exhortd to respond as Jesus did. When He was reviled and threatened, He suffered by committing Himself to a higher judge who is righteous. You must commit yourself to the one who placed you under your husband's command. Your husband will answer to od, and you must answer to God for how you respond to your husband even when he causes you to suffer. Just as we are to obey government in every ordinance, and servants are to obey their masters, even the ones who are abusive and surly, "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands".... You can feely call your husband "lord" when you know that you are addressing the one who put him in charge and asked you to suffer at your husband's hands just as the Lord suffered at the hands of unjust authorities.... When you endure evil and railing without returning it, you receive a blessings, not just as a martyr but as one who worships God,"

According to Avid Reader:

"This book goes way off the deep end in  craziness but the root problem is that Michael and Debi Pearly are violating God's law of sowing and reaping (Galatians 6:7-8). They want one spouse to sow to the flesh without reaping any consequences because they won't allow the other spouse to set any boundaries."

 

Read Part Four HERE