The pastors believe I have lied: Eileen's Experience P/10

 

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I will continue to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, USA, pastored by John Mac Arthur.

On February 20, 2004, Eileen Gray's husband, David, was charged with multiple counts of sexual and physical abuse of his children.

Five days later, Carey Hardy, an associate pastor at Grace Community Church, emailed a letter to the church. In the letter Hardy defends David Gray and challenges the credibility of David's wife, Eileen, whom Grace Community Church had shamed and ex-communicated 18 months earlier for separating from her husband. The letter states: "I'm sure you know by now that one of our own, David Gray, has been arrested. The accusations brought against him have to do with child abuse. Most likely, these accusations have come from his estranged wife Eileen."    

In his letter, Hardy did not mention that three months earlier, David had filed for divorce. Hardy also claimed in the letter that David did not admit "any guilt regarding abuse of children." However, David had submitted a handwritten  confession of abuse to Hardy during a 2001 counseling session, which Hardy had refused to look at.

Today David Gray is serving 21 years to life for aggravated child molestatiom, corporal injury to a child and child abuse. 

He was denied parole for 10 years on 11 March 2022. Nevertheless, grace Community Church has been supporting David Gray while in prison.                                                                                                 

The court is on my side: Eileen's experience P/9

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I will continue to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, pastored by John MacArthur.

After Pastor John MacArthur had told the church that Eileen Gray was to be disciplined, he urged the church to pray for her husband David Gray, who taught music and Bible to children at Grace Community Church from 1994 -2001, with the following words; "Pray for David, for the sympathy and compassion and the loving kindness of God to be his portion."

Pastor MacArthur then invited the church to sing "Amazing Grace."

A few weeks later Eileen moved away and found a church that welcomed her into fellowship.

The next year, Eileen learned that David had not only physically, emotionally and verbally abused her children, but had sexually abused them as well. Shen then reported her husband's abuse to LAPD. 

Even then, Grace Community Church did not defend and support Eileen, but instead rallied behind her husband.

Today David is serving 21 years to life in a California prison for his 2005 conviction for aggravated child abuse, molestation, corporal injury to a child, and child abuse. 

Read Part Ten HERE

 

 

 

They tell me am not a child of God: Eileen's experience P/8

                                                      Read Part One HERE                                                    

In this post I will continue to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, California, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

On the evening of August 18, 2002, Pastor John MacArthur, preached a sermon with dire warnings about the severity of God's discipline. "Sometimes the punishment can be so severe that the person dies," Pastor MacArthur stated, "In the Corinthian church, there were some people who were weak and some were sick and some were dead because their sins were manifest at the Lord's Table.Then before administering communion MacArthur urged his listeners to confess their sins so they "wont' suffer discipline."

He then took time to address a grave matter at his church.  he alleged a woman at Grace Community Church was living in sin. And though shaming her publicly was sad, according to Pastor MacArthur, it was necessary to maintain fidelity to God and His Word. So as men were distributing the elements for communions, Pastor MarArthur stated, "I want to mention a sad situation, a person who is unwilling to repent. And the church bears responsibility before God to be the instruemnt of discipline.... This is what the Lord wants. He wants discipline... to to put out of the church, to be publicly shamed, to be put away from fellowship. In this case it applies to Eileen Gray."

According to Pastor MacArthur, Eileen's sin was that she had decided "to leave her husband, to grant no grace at all, to take the children, to go away, to forsake him." This, Pastor John MacArthur emphasized, meant "rejecting all the instruction and counsel of the elders, all instruction from the Word of God." 

Pastor MacArthur then encouraged the church to pray for Eileen and to "treat her as an unbeliever - for all we know she may be."

Read Part Nine HERE

 

 

 

I am told it is all my fault: Eileen's story P/7

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I will begin to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

On August 8, 2002, Eileen received a fourth letter from Grace Community Church. The letter states, "In spite of the failures on David's part as a husband and a father, it has become increasingly apparent that the greatest reason for the turmoil in the lives of your children, in the life of your husband, and in your own life is your refusal to forgive David, to support him in his attempts to change his thinking and behaviour, and to reconcile with him."

The letter continues, "The elders have concluded that you have no genuine desire to see your family restored."

The letter ends as follows, "Grace Community Church will announce publicly at an upcoming service that you will be removed from fellowship." 

Read Part Eight HERE

I am told that I may die soon: Eileen's story P/6

                                                      Read Part One HERE

In this post I will continue to hare the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, California, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

At the end of April 2002, Grace Community Church sent Eileen a third letter. The letter states, "You have yet to provide any biblical justification for your anger towards your husband. And you still reject the counsel of the elders and others who are concerned for your well-being. If you desire to meet with us to express your willingness to repent, we stand ready to help. If we don't hear from you in this regard, however, we must proceed with the Lord's instructions and convey your sin to the church at the next communion service on Sunday May 19, 2002.

On that date Pastor JohnMacArthur reportedly shamed Eileen in front of his congregation for the first time. He stated that "death may follow" Eileen's shaming.

 

 

 

 

 

The church believes I am an unrepentant sinner: Eileen's story P/5

                                                     Read Part One HERE

                                               

In this post I will continue to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valley, California, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

A letter from Grace Community on March 13, 2002, threatended Eileen with church discipline if she doesn't change course. The letter states, "Since you are refusing to forgive David and allow him to return home where he can put biblical change into action, we are left with nothing to conclude that you want something else besides what Scripture teaches. Though you are ignoring the shepherding role in your life that God requires from our church, we must still choose to follow the mandate of Matthew 18 verse 17, if you persist in preventing the restoration of your family."

Matthew 18:17 says that if someone refuses to repent of his sin, the sin should be told to the church and the person treated like a "pagan or a tax collector.

The letter also stated that is has become obvious that David is not "a mental case" and doesn't need "pyschological evaluation." He is a sinner who can, by God's grace, "change and grow."

Read Part Six HERE

 

 

My abuser is to be in charge of my home: Eileen's experience P/4

                                                      Read Part One HERE

I will continue to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray, previously a member of Grace Community Church, Sub Valley, California, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

In November 2001, Eileen wrote Grace Community Church and requested that the church remove her from its church membership.

On November 27, 2001 Carey Hardy sent Eileen a letter on behalf of Grace Community Church's elders in which he stated the following: "The elders don't automatically remove someone from membership when we believe that we have a responsibility to help that individual resolve issues in her, his life. In this situation we definitely do believe that we should maintain our role in helping you and David reconcile. For that reason we are leaving your membership intact." The letter continued, "There are no longer sufficient reasons for the two of you to stay apart. Forgive David, allow him to move back home, and once again follow his leadership as Scripture teaches. It is now time to trust God to use your marriage to David to make you more Christ like, This is a more significant level of trust than simply trusting God to change your husband... It's a crossroads related to your own relationship with the Lord, a crossroads in your relationship to your husband, and a crossroads related to your role as a mother."

Read Part Five HERE

My counselor wants me to take my abuser back: Eileen's story P/3

                                                     Read Part one HERE

I will contine to share the story of abuse suffered by Eileen Gray when she was a member of Grace Community Church, Sun Valleu, California, USA, pastored by John MacArthur.

In subsequent counseling sessions with Carey Hardy,  Eileen's husband David presented Hardy with a hand-written four-page list against Eileen and the children. On one of these pages David admits that he "tied up" and "locked up" a child and was not always adequately dressed in the child's presence. Hardy, however, refused to take or read David's list. Hardy has stated, "I am of the opinion that Eileen simply doesn't like David....and is using what she alleges to have happened with the children as leverage to put David out of their lives. She has a tendency to exaggerate and is exercising faulty logic and irrational thinking."

In contrast, according to Hardy, David Gray was fairly "laid back" and after several monitored visits between David and his children "our church concluded that monitors were not necessary."

Eileen stated that she had repeatedly asked Grace Community Church to provide professional counseling for her and David. She was told by Grace Community Church leaders that professional counseling was "worldly" and "wrong."

Hardy counseled Eileen to forgive David "even if he wasn't repentant." He would teach her over and over "the threefold promise of forgiveness" where you act as though it never happened and you never bring it up again and you never tell anyone about it. Hardy also urged her to allow David back into the family's home and to model for the children how "to suffer for Jesus" by enduring David's abuse. Eileen has stated that she was willing to endure abuse herself but she was not willing to allow her children to be abused, so she refused.

 

Read Part Four HERE