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Monday 6 July 2020

The wife may need to be respectfully silent: The Wilson Saga P/15


Read Part One HERE

This is my last post on Nancy Wilson, the wife of Pastor Doug Wilson of Christ Church, Moscow, Idaho, US.


Nancy Wilson has made the following statements
Nancy Wilson: "Respect is a demeanour that should characterise wives in all their conduct towards their husbands and in all their communications to or about their husbands... This means courtesy in the home, where the husband is treated with honour as the ones who are seated at the head of the table, who is leading the family in thanks at the meals in their roles as head of the house.

Nancy Wilson: "When you are tempted to criticize your husband (and you will be), when you want very much to "let him have it," pray for love. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins. Turn to the Lord for comfort, strength, silence!

Nancy Wilson: "If you have a husband like the ones described above, you must not make the  mistake of trying to undertake to deal with his sins; you must deal with your own. If however, he is a Christian man who is engaged in viewing pornography, you may need to go to the elders in your church so he can be disciplined. But if he is simply not spending enough time with you (from your perspective), or not meeting your needs in some other way, you must realise that God is the only One who can bring about change..."

Nancy Wilson: "If the problem with your husband is not big enough to share with the elders of the church (or the police), so that they may step in to deal with your husband, then it is not big enough to share with anyone. And even if you are unnecessarily silent in a situation, you probably need the practice.

My Comment
Wives are to speak into their husbands' lives as their "ezer kenegdo" or their "equal partners." They are to do so respectfully but they are not called to be silent! However, they are not responsible for their husbands' response to what they may feel led to say to them. As for husbands treating their wives with respect, Peter tells them to do so in I Peter 3:7.

As for the husband being seated at the head of the table as head of the house, both parents may be seated at opposite sides of the table and the children may be seated at the other sides of the table. Moreover, the family may have a round dinner table, in which case there are no specific sides.

As for who leads the devotions at meal times, they may be shared among all family members to encourage each member, including children, to mature in their relationship with their heavenly Father.

As for the man being the head of the house, Scripture mentions the man being the head of the woman in I Corinthians 11:3 and the husband being the head of the wife in Ephesians 5:23. In both cases the word "head" is the Greek word "kephale" which means "source" or "origin" but does not mean "authority."

A wife should never feel she has to remain silent about any issue that may not warrant going to the elders or the police but as his "ezer kenegdo" or "equal partner" she is to speak to him about any issue that she is concerned about since God has created her with a mouth. Moreover, she should feel free to go to a trusted friend or counsellor for prayer and other support.

As for pornography, it causes a man to be unfaithful to his wife in his mind (Matthew 5:28), which is a very serious issue that needs dealing with. Never feel you still have to be intimate with your husband under such circumstances, especially if he denies he has any problems. Intimacy is to be enjoyed by both partners when both lovingly give themselves to each other.

P.S. I trust that the posts on Nancy Wilson will have proven that her teachings are unbiblical and should not be followed.
 
 




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