Obedient wives will not be spanked: Wives Spanking P/10

 

                                                       Read Part One HERE

In this post I will finalise Lauren's story who was spanked by her husband and eventually left the marriage.

 Lauren: "The thing is he never raged. At times he could be very sweet and charming. But over it all was this sense of control and "he was the man." My wedding vows included a vow to obey and he would often remind me that God commanded wives to submit and obey their husbands as they were supposed to do towards Christ. The thing is I never felt "threatened." Just utterly powerless. I never truly fought "back" as if I was fighting for my life. But often I would struggle or try to escape but he was big and strong enough to hold me in place and then would tell I was getting more for disobeying and struggling."

Lauren: "We had no children (thankfully) and we are fully divorced. When I left he was convinced that it was because of my friend and being led astray and away from God. He did not stalk me or anything but vowed to constantly pray for me to come to my senses and return."

Lauren: "My parents were a little surprised at first but I think they see spanking as not the same as abuse. They told me that I needed to do a better job of obeying and not being disrespectful or difficult and told me I needed to pray more to be a better wife. When I left him, they did not abandon me but at the same time were not fully supportive and told me they were praying for us to work it out. I love them but our relationship is often strained."

Friend Julie Anne: "We need to be aware of the existence of this atrocity in our churches and be bold in calling it out when we see it. It is insidious that this practice has continued in the name of God and Christianity. Young boys in these homes will likely learn this behaviour of entitlement over women and repeat it. Young girls will also learn from the behaviour and may find themselves with abusive men because of familiarity. In an abusive home, children do not have a sense of a normal healthy marriage, so this modeling of abusive behaviour could affect generations."

Friend Julie Anne: "When we protect and defend abused wives, we are also protecting and defending their children and future generations."

 My Comment 

Lauren's husband had no understanding of his function as head of his wife that he was to sacrifically love his wife as Christ sacrifically loves His Church. As for wives submitting to their husbands, the original text makes it clear that this is not obedience but a voluntary submission and is done mutually since in Ephesians 5:21 believers are told to submit to one another.

 As for Lauren leaving, it was good she eventually did so. However she should have actually gone to the police and her husband should have gone to prison for his abusive behaviour towards his wife. This is criminal activity and should have been stopped. There is always the danger that he will eventually marry another girl and continue his spanking with her.

As for her friend Julie Anne, she is right in saying wife spanking needs to be called out as is being done through these blog posts. For any of you, if you are aware of any abuse taking place, do not be silent about it but address it. However, please do it in a way that is safe for the victim.