Do as you are told or else...: Sovereign Grace P/5

 Read Part One HERE

In this blog post I will continue to focus on C.J. Mahaney, pastor Of Sovereign Grace Church, Louisville, Kentucky, USA. He was formerly president of Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches. Their culture incorporates a strong emphasis on homeschooling, patriarchy and corporal punishment. A civil suit was filed in 2012, accusing Mahaney and other Sovereign Grace pastors of covering up sexual abuse of children.

                                    Testimony of  a survivor:

"Committed a sin. Confessed to a pastor. Repented. Years went by without any temptation in that area. I was totally over it. Then I was confronted and told they should have dealt with my sin differently when I had confessed it years earlier. I was told that I had to follows certain "steps" they declared for me in order to be forgiven for my sin. What? I thought it was by grace that I was saved and not works. Now I have to work for my salvation? I was so confused. In private I was told I had "works" to do to earn my salvation. At church they talked about grace. I began to think that the cross, Jesus, and grace was for everyone else but me. There was no hope for me - only for everybody else. My sense of worth dropped to nothing. OK. Maybe below nothing. I was depressed, angry, suicidal, unloved, unworthy, hopeless. If I did what they required that meant I had to "earn" their love and God's and that was depressed me. The constant struggle to earn their love was already exhausting me. So much to do to keep them all pleased and now there was more. I didn't do what they required and I was shunned, unloved, unacceptable. That was depressing. No one tried to understand or ask what I was thinking or feeling. All I got from my so-called brothers and sisters was an attitude or "do as you're told or you are nothing." So I believed I was nothing. I meant nothing to God. I had not one that loved me. No one. I responded very badly. I was so angry. Shunned. Scared. More anger, Condemnation.Divored, Angry. Bitter. Depressed.Suicidal. Lost. Empty. What do I do now? How do I live through each day without the daily interaction of leadership in my life?... Years went by.... So hopeless then..."

"New begining.... A new church. An amazing pastor. Truth. Grace. Hope. Hope. Hope. Forgiveness, Freedom, Joy. Love, Whole. I love who I am. I am a woman. I really love who I am. I love who I am in Christ. God's daughter. Beautiful. Made in God's image. Righteous. Amazed by God. Amazed by grace. Good News. Peace, Changed. Hope. I love Christ's Bride. I love the church.I am giving. Serving. Loving others. Enjoying God. He is so awesome."

"My sin was 23 years ago. I am so over it. I have no temptation or struggle with that sin at all. But CLC people would throw down that sin like a trump card - act like it just happened yesterday. Anything to discredit someone else in order to pump up their own reputation. The fact and sum of my life is that I love Jesus so much because I have been forgiven much .Jesus' blood was enough for my sin."

Read Part Six HERE